Monday, October 3, 2011

Everything Happens For A Reason

My mom always told me that . . . Everything happens for a reason.  Whenever I didn’t understand or something just didn’t make sense to either of us, Mom said that.  And she was always right.  One event influenced another that influenced a decision that influenced an outcome that was absolutely wonderful . . . or at least better.

I’ve maintained that attitude through the worst times of my life and the best times of my life.  I am thinking about it now.  I am going to be a grandmother.  I am quite excited.  Now.  Not so much several weeks ago.  But now, very excited.

When you have children, you see certain things in their future.  They make decisions and show behaviors that influence how you think their lives will go.  Some of that vision is comprised of hopes and dreams but if we look beyond that, and are honest, we can see the general direction of their future.

I saw a pretty easy life for my daughter.  She is very determined and strong. She wanted to finish college, get married to a loving guy who could be a real partner.  She would work as a designer, buy a nice house, and she would wait until her later 20’s to have children.  She would be able to stay at home or work from home when her kids are younger and be your stereotypical soccer mom.  While I see things with a more jaded perspective, I saw a lot of that in her future, just with a few more bumps along the way as we all know life goes.

The guy she was dating was very nice - charming, easygoing, thoughtful, an athlete, ambitious, loved to cook and loved kids.  Things moved quickly but they were very happy.  A pregnancy was not in the plans at all but they were planning to move from Atlanta to Denver so he could train to get back into the NFL.  There was a delay in the Denver plans and the next thing they knew, she was pregnant.  Neither one was happy about the timing but my daughter was going to make the best of it.  Her boyfriend, on the other hand, was determined to go forward with his plans with or without her. The relationship started to break down under the stress and she ended up moving back to Tennessee to have a support system and let him figure out what he was going to do.  Since that time, they have continued to communicate periodically about the baby but while there is hope he will come around later, he remains uninterested in being involved, is willing to pay child support, and she is staring at single parenthood in the future.

And yet, her positive attitude and determination has really impressed me.  Her child will be bi-racial which is unimportant to us but to some people in this country, it’s a big deal.  If anyone can handle that and make it work, she can.  She will be a single mother with only a year of college.  But I know this kid will make that work to her advantage somehow.  And I know she will be a great mom.  Her child is one lucky kid.

And I am one lucky mom.  I mean Grandmother.

Everything happens for a reason.
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