Sunday, February 28, 2010

Letting Go

Caseybw One of the hardest things to do as a parent is to let go.  It is our children’s goal in life to move on to be who they will be.  And it should be.  And we should be happy for them.  And I am.  I’m just not ready.

She wants to be a grown up, to make her own decisions, to start her life.  She has a new boyfriend.  He is great and I love him and his family.  We used to be neighbors in Alabama.  Good friends.  In fact, they were “boyfriend and girlfriend” when they were 6 years old and played baseball together.  Cute, huh?  But they are moving so fast.

He lives in the Atlanta area.  She wants to move there and go to a very expensive college.  She goes to a community college now, an affordable community college.  She wants to get a job there.  And an apartment.  And did I mention she wants to move there? 

I’m not worried about her moving to Atlanta.  I have tons of family and friends there so I know there would be any number of people that could help her if she needed help and I couldn’t get there.  I’m not worried about her being there with him, he’s good to her.  I know what it’s like to be in love and in a long distance relationship and feel like you need to see the person and you can’t.  Her dad and I started dating when I was in college in Germany, 2 hours away from where he was.  Then we each moved back to the U.S. but he was in Alabama and I was in Tennessee, 6 hours away from each other.  it was hard but we were in love and we made it work.  The first time we lived close to each other was when we lived with each other after we got married.

The real problem is that I thought I had more time with her.  We are friends.  We like each other.  We hang out.  She hangs out with my friends too.  My son moved out when he was 18 and my daughter was 15.  He came home again, moved out again and has been back home now for almost a year.  He and I are close too but while he was gone it was just me and her.  It was girl time.

But it’s her time now.  She will think through all of this and make a good decision.  I wish she would slow down but I have not ever seen her so happy.  He makes her happy.  But that’s often not enough.  Life is expensive and scary and just plain ole hard.  I have to let her figure it out.  And she will.

I just thought I had more time.

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Introducing . . .

I have become just a little bit wrapped up in this weight loss process and all the new things I am discovering about me, my habits around food, alternative forms of exercise, and life in general.  I have shared all of my thoughts with you on this blog but I really don’t want this blog to be a weight loss blog.  

I started Living The Life Of Tere to be about my life, my family, my thoughts.  Me, Me, Me.  Weight loss is a part of my life but it is not the only part of me.  But I had things I wanted to share with others about weight loss, things that have helped friends and others.  I started to put off writing here about some funny things my kids did and other stories so I could post some weight loss stories.  That’s not really where I wanted things to go.

I decided I needed to compartmentalize my life a bit when it comes to sharing my life with others.  So I did something that makes no sense with the small amount of time I have . . . I started a separate weight loss blog.  One where I can share my thoughts on weight loss, food diary, successes and failures, low calorie recipes, tips and tricks from others, reviews of products, other people’s success stories . . . for those that are interested in that type of thing.

So meet my new blog Simple Moon header simple moon shrinking final I would love for you to visit there and share. 
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Saturday, February 20, 2010

The Next Generation


Once there was a family. There were two parents and 4 children. Three of the children were much older than the fourth child. As the children grew older, they moved to different places around the country. They met other people and created their own families. It was hard to stay in touch but they did because they were family.

That family is my family – my parents and my siblings. I miss them. None of us live close to each other. So when one of us has an opportunity to be in a location close by, we set up a visit.

Recently, I was in Las Vegas for a conference for work. My youngest sister lives in Los Angeles, 4 hours away. On my last night there, she and my nephew drove over to spend the night with me.

Andie is the youngest of the four of us, the baby, the one that is so much younger than the rest of us. I am the oldest. Much older than Andie. I was almost 19 when she was born, old enough to be her mother. I used to think that was really cool when I was younger. Now I think it just makes me old. Andie grew up in almost a different generation than I did even though we are siblings. She is only 6 years older than my oldest child and 4 years older than my brother’s oldest child.

Andie has a 6 year old named Taj that I love dearly. Of course I am probably more like a far away grandmother to him than an aunt. And I hate that he never really knew my mom who would have loved the amazing child he is so I feel the need to sort of show him what she would have been like as a grandmother. Not that I can live up to her but I can try – a good goal.

So Andie and Taj and I headed to dinner with some of my friends and watched the gondolas on the canals at The Venetian. Then we broke off on our own to explore Vegas – Taj’s first trip. We walked the strip down one side, gazed at the lights of all the amazing casinos, saw part of the fountain show at The Bellagio twice, strolled the Bellagio’s conservatory all done up in an Asian theme, got some amazing gelato, and strolled the strip back up the other side. As we crossed the footbridge from The Mirage to The Venetian, even though he was not tall enough to see over the sided of the bridge, Taj saw that there were plexiglass panes along the sides. He asked his mom to hold him up so he could see. Then he breathed hard on the glass. He wrote TAJ in the condensation. Then he breathed on it again and wrote IS OSUM. TAJ IS OSUM. For those that don’t speak 6 year old that was “Taj is awesome”. As the condensation quickly faded, I snapped a quick picture. Yes he is.

It just touched my heart. I thought about my mom and how she would have loved that. She would have loved his confidence, been proud of his clever little mind, and pleased by what a great mom her youngest daughter has become.

And it made me think of all my siblings and their children. Our children number 11 and range greatly in age from a few months old to their mid-20’s, one with a child of his own. They are interesting, intelligent, talented, and really fun young people. They are athletes or artists or scholars or business people. They don’t know each other well as a result of the distance between us all but we are all family. They all have really good parents if I do say so myself. We had the best example.

I am excited about the next generation. What a great feeling.