Friday, June 18, 2010

Not On My Bucket List

8_8_08_weeping I have heard a great deal of discussion lately about Bucket Lists.  Seems like everyone has one.  As people talk about what they did last weekend or what they plan to do this summer you hear “yeah, that’s on my bucket list too”.  I hear it a lot.  Maybe it’s my age.

For those unaware, a bucket list is a list of things you want to do before you “kick the bucket”.  I don’t have a bucket list.  At least not a formal type of list.  I have a lot of things I want to do before I die but those things change as I get older.  I have also done a lot of what I wanted to do when I was younger. Maybe one day I will sit down and make a list
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As I listened today to three people discuss items on their bucket lists, I very quickly came up with a list of things I have no intention of doing.  Evah!  So here are 5 items you will NEVER see on my bucket list:
  1. Jumping off of or out of anything over 5 feet high.  No planes, no buildings, no bungee platforms, no bridges.  Fear is good.  It keeps you safe. Strapping a backpack to my back that contains giant piece of shiny cloth that is supposed to make me float to the ground when I jump out of a flying airplane will never be on my list.  I’ve seen those Dateline stories!  Neither will strapping a giant rubber band to my ankles and launching myself head first over the side of a 30 story building.  Never, ever!
  2. Eating exotic foods.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m pretty adventurous when it comes to food but I have a pretty definitive line that I am not crossing.  Bugs are meant for squishing.  Chicken feet are meant for transporting chickens around the barnyard.  Sheep’s eyeballs are meant to allow them to see the farmer coming after them with the carving knife so they can run away!  If any of those things were meant for eating they would sell them at Kroger and Whole Foods.
  3. Hiking or climbing to the top of giant mountains.  I live at the foot of the Smoky Mountains in the Appalachian Mountain Range.  The mountains are absolutely beautiful.  I love to look at them and to be a part of them.  I even hike and climb around a bit.  But there is no peak anywhere that is waiting for a flag with my name on it.
  4. Interacting with wild animals.  No desire to go on a safari to see lions or tigers.  No desire to swim with sharks.  Or try to outrun a bull.  Or ride an elephant.  Most of those animals have large teeth or large pointy things sticking out of their heads.
  5. Anything that involves running any distance.  I am not, nor will I ever be like Forest Gump.  No desire to run across the country or even really across the street.  A marathon holds no interest and most certainly, neither does a triathalon.   Nope, not even a 5k although I have actually done one of those.  Cars were invented to cover long distances for a reason.
There are only 5 things I can think of so that still leaves a wide variety of choices that could actually make it to the list.  So . . . what’s NOT on your bucket list?
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5 comments:

Christi said...

This is the best post I have seen in a while! I love it! The only thing on here that IS on my list (which I don't really have) is the 5K. The others are all definitely NOT on my list. And I love your explanation! It's as if you read my mind!

Wanda said...

Oh this is the best No Bucket List ever.

I'm going to think about this one, and get back to you. On my way to another graduation celebration...

Tere said...

Christi - about you run 5K just keeping up with your kids every day ;)

Wanda - You have attended so many graduations this year! Can't wait to hear your NOT list.

Ruth D~ said...

I used to want to go white water rafting, but now... I don't, so that's out of my bucket.

Joy Page Manuel said...

Can't think of 5 right now but one that I will 'NEVAH' do is to skinny dip. It may just bring apocalypse even closer if I ever did this one! :-)