Sunday, June 27, 2010

Coming Home

100_0381_1496 It was wedding weekend.  My daughter’s friend was getting married and she was a bridesmaid.  It would be the first time she has come home from Atlanta since moving there in April and she was looking forward to seeing her family and other friends and she was bringing her boyfriend along.  There was the wedding, parties with friends, and, never having seen old Mom dance in public, she would get to watch me perform at Pridefest on Saturday with my dance troupe.

It’s hard to go home once you leave.  You come home with expectations and things don’t always go as planned.  The time available to spend with her friends was short.  Their schedules didn’t line up with hers this weekend.  And after waiting for 20 minutes in the blazing hot sun for the dance performance to start, she and my son ran to go pick up their waiting lunch and missed the performance.  So she still has not seen her old Mom dance in public.

100_0367_1482While she was busy with her wedding obligations, her boyfriend and I got to spend time together.  I have known him since he was a small child but we really don’t know each other.  We didn’t do anything special but we had fun and now have a comfort level with each other that was not there before.  I approve.  He is a great guy and he fits right in with our crazy little family.  So it was a good weekend.  When we weren’t doing the wedding things we watched soccer, ate out, saw a movie, chatted about music and old times.
And then it was Sunday.  It started early this morning.  I was dreading her to leaving but I didn’t say anything.  She went about packing quietly.  “We need to leave about noon” she mentioned.  “I don’t really want to go”.  I didn’t say anything.  I know she misses us but I know she can’t stay.

We went to get something to eat before they left.  We talked about her not being able to see her best friend for more than a few minutes.  She said she wished she could stay a few more days.  I told her we would plan another weekend when there was not so much to do, when we can all just hang out.  We joked that she and her boyfriend could spend six months in Atlanta and six months here.  They dropped me off at the house before leaving.  I gave her an old iron from the garage and she packed up the Wii and Playstation to take back with her. 

Casey and Wes 6_27_2010I really had to work hard to keep the tears away so she wouldn’t see.  This time was harder than when she first moved. I miss her.  I stood in the driveway as they drove away and I saw her cry.  I can’t watch her cry.  I tried not to wipe the tears away until after they were down the street.

It’s hard to watch your child struggle even when you know it’s a good thing for them.  She is in a new city and starting to make new friends.  It’s hard to pay rent and utilities and insurance and car payments and buy groceries.  It’s easier to be taken care of at home where there is a mom and a big brother that love you.  It’s comforting to have your friends around you that you have known since middle school.  But she loves being in Atlanta and she loves that boy.  So she will figure out how to do it and eventually we will both do it without tears.


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Wanda said...

Oh Tere, I loved reading about your visit with your daughter.

Funny, this week my youngest daughter from Oregon was here.... I hated seeing her leave.

Loved the pictures of your family and the boyfriend...cute!

Niecy said...

I enjoyed your post but felt bad for your pain over missing your daughter. I am a mother of a 12 year old boy who is growing up fast. I miss my baby and yet, love to watch him grow into an independent person. It's tough.

Tere said...

Wanda - I loved the photos of your daughter's visit. I loved reading about it and could tell you were excited for her to be there.

Niecy - You said it. I love watching my kids grow up but it is hard to let go of that independent person we created. I used to say that it was so exciting for me to watch my son do all the "firsts". But when my daughter did it, it was exciting but sad because she was the last one. That started with Kindergarten and has held true through both of them moving out. Parenting is hard.