Friday, November 13, 2009

Accept Me As I Am

What exactly does that mean? People say it all the time but what does it mean?question-mark

I have been on E-Harmony now for a while and, on occasion, I receive the profile of a man who is looking for someone that can accept him “as I am”. I often hesitate to reply to those profiles. My mind goes to all kind of places. Is he severely obese or does he have a disfiguring disease? Is he a former felon or a child molester? Or could he possibly mean he is looking for someone that is not going to change him? I don’t know.

When I hear people say “accept me as I am”, I wonder what they’ve been through. Not just people on E-Harmony but in everyday life. Who hurt them? Who didn’t accept them? Why weren’t they accepted? Was it their fault or someone else’s?

Mostly I consider why they are not willing to change. Change usually means growth. We change all our lives. Hopefully.

As a child, we throw tantrums until we change our behavior after learning that tantrums get us nowhere. Or we don’t change and grow up to become controlling, whiney adults. Adults who are unwilling to change.

There are many things about those in my life, as well as myself, that I can accept – bad habits, personality quirks, falling short. We all struggle with making ourselves better people and we all have bad days. But to ignore the need to change and grow is a deal breaker. Work on yourself and I accept that. Self-awareness is key.

So I still don’t know what those people mean when they say “accept me as I am”. It may just be a terminology issue. They could have said “Please accept that I have flaws and I am working on them” and I might not do so much thinking about the whole situation.

But then, what would I blog about?


~JarieLyn~ said...

Very well said. I really enjoyed reading this post. Have you met anyone on E-harmony yet? The TV commercials make it look so promising.

Tere said...

I have not met anyone yet. I have corresponded with a few over email but that is really it. I know people in great relationships that met online but it just hasn't worked for me yet.