Saturday, June 6, 2009

I Knew It Was Coming

I was traveling most of this week. It was busy, busy, busy. I was in St. Louis for meetings and I was busy from morning into late evening. But I knew the day was coming.

My late husband passed away on June 3rd back in 2001. I have written before on this blog about Gary. You can read those posts here and here. His birthday was on June 11th and our anniversary was on June 20th. I pretty much dread the month of June.

But I was going to be busy on June 3rd. I would have my mind on other things. I would be distracted from the significance of the day. I would be around friends and we would be working. That was my plan.

And it worked. I made it through the day without really thinking about what the day represented. I flew home and got in around midnight. My kids were up and we chatted. I had to get up early for a doctor's appointment so I went to bed.

The next morning I was sitting in the waiting room at my appointment. It was taking longer than normal so I got out my blackberry to catch up on Facebook and emails I had missed over the last few days. I went to Facebook and my daughter had updated her status the night before. It said "Can't believe it's really been 8 years. I love you Daddy".

Tears rolled, right there in the waiting room. People stared. I wiped them away. More tears came. Damn tears.

I knew it was coming.


Katie said...

Ditto...damn tears! Beautiful post. How about the funny side of June 3rd? That was the hottest I have ever been in my entire life! And 9 months pregnant to boot! I remember hugging you and getting sweaty makeup all over your dress. I am sad to say I never got to know Gary but when I'm dealing with my spitfire of a daughter who was born on what would have been his birthday I wonder about his personality.....

Ruth D~ said...

A month to mourn . . . poignant post, Tere.

Wanda said...

Tere, if you could hear me it would be a soft whisper "Beautiful".

Your post made me shed a tear as I shared it with my husband.

Love and Hugs

Tere said...

Katie - I remember it well. I could not believe you drove all that way, about to deliver a baby and the heat, heat, heat. Thank you my friend.

Ruth and Wanda - Thank you both for your kind words.

BIO said...

That's very moving yet written in a simple post. Continue to cope for your daughter. I guess June will always be a month to never forget. To never forget about someone's death, but to always remember that somebody loved and still loves you.