Tuesday, July 1, 2008

Diversity Strikes

Our vacation was quite the adventure. It was never boring. We should have known when the first morning started with a lightening storm.

We were a widely diverse group of folks, all with strong personalities and varied lifestyles. We had a kid, a single mom, a couple that have lived together for 5 years, a newly dating teenage couple, a teenage couple of 2 years, best teenage guy friends, and a gay couple. And we were being joined by some redneck party crashers for two nights.

Let me explain the redneck party crashers. Robin has these friends. I "know" them but would not call them friends. I want to clarify, I am not a snob. In fact, I am quite proud of my hillbilly and redneck roots. Okay, I am a little bit of a snob. So anyway, Party Crashers were already coming down for the weekend and staying at a hotel. They asked if they could come down a few days early and crash on our sofa bed. The deal was that they would provide dinner for everyone on Wednesday and Thursday in return for our hospitality. I could deal with that. It was only two nights.

Now, in the past, Maw Party Crasher has not been terribly friendly. I am okay with that, it relieves me of the obligation to appear interested. I would not feel rude if I left her on the porch to sit by myself on the beach since she didn't really want to chat anyway. Paw Party Crasher loves to talk and socialize, he's just usually drunk while he's doing it. I'm okay with that also since he mostly likes to hang with the men folk and I am not men folk.

So Maw and Paw Party Crasher arrive on Wednesday afternoon. They put on a huge pot of spaghetti sauce with meatballs to simmer and go out to set up their canopy on the beach. They haul their cooler full of beer out and set up about 50 yards down the beach from our canopy. Maw stretches out on her chair for about an hour. Paw drinks beer and discusses life with Robin's boyfriend. They serve the spaghetti and meatballs. Then it was back to the beach. Pretty soon Maw decided that she wanted to sleep on the beach rather than the sofabed. It took 3 men to haul it out to the beach but they brought out the futon. Maw stretched out on the futon. The teenagers came out to throw the football around and pretty soon, Paw and Robin's boyfriend joined them.

The next thing we knew, Maw decided she was calling their hotel to see if they could check in early. They had a room available so she left to check in, leaving Paw, the futon and canopy, and ALL the dinner mess for us to clean up. Paw said she was mad about something. He apologized. Maw was overheard calling Paw a pervert. Maybe he was looking at our teenage girls. Or maybe they were intimidated by our gays. Either way, go on.

So they left. And we all got heartburn and indigestion from the spaghetti. Every one of us. Good riddance.


Wanda said...

Oh I was so entralled with your story....hung on every word. I was think of Ma and Pa Kettle, as I haven't heard any one called Maw or Paw for a long time.
You sure have a gift of story telling and that what I love.

Wish I had some Peptol Bismol to send, but hopefully your feeling better now.