Monday, November 26, 2007

I Am Not Ready!

I didn't want to put the tree up. We are barely past Thanksgiving and it is not even December. But she wanted to. I said, "Fine, do it then". She wanted to put it in the sunroom instead of the living room. I said there wouldn't be enough space. Sometimes I am not very supportive. I love the holidays and decorating but I hate the mess it creates. In fact, last year's decorations for the den are still in the red and green tub under the table in the den. So I just wasn't ready for it yet this year.

She and her boyfriend put the tree up and decorated it last night. It was fun to watch them. And they were still together by the end. She talked about the first Christmas after her Dad died. She didn't want to decorate the tree with the new ornaments that year. She wanted to use just "Daddy's ornaments". The whole thing ended in tears that year. She explained it all to her boyfriend. He understands her a little more every day.

She did a great job. And she put everything back in the garage when she was done!!! Afterwards, she sat beside the tree and wrapped presents. She has already bought gifts for people. I am still thinking about what to buy.

The tree really looks beautiful. And it is starting to get me in the mood. I am trying. But she is fully invested in the holiday spirit. And she is guiding me there. It's kinda annoying, mostly because it reminds me that she is growing up. And that makes me sad. But excited, too. And it reminds me that I am not ready . . . for the tree to be up or for her to be grown up. But just like the tree, it's already done.