Friday, November 30, 2007

Am I Just A Mom?

Don't get me wrong . . . I love being a Mom. But have I been a Mom so long that I have lost me? I am excited for my kids to grow up and become adults but I am uncomfortably aware that I will be rather lonely when they do. We will be friends but what am I going to do with my time?

I really like being alone. I enjoy solitary activities and treasure my alone time. But I don't like being lonely. I worry about being lonely.

I don't want to make my kids responsible for my entertainment and fun. I don't want them to feel like they have to include me or spend time with me because I am alone. That's not healthy. For any of us. I have friends. I have a fun life. But most of my friendships are through the kids or through work. But I have some "hobby" related friends too.

The real answer is for me to find a soul mate. Since my husband died, that is what I have wanted. I want what I had . . . a true partnership, a best friend, a confidante, someone that has a shared view of the world and similar goals. A soul mate. And guess what . . . that is hard to find.

But that is what I want. And I truly believe I will find it. Although I love it, I don't want to be just a Mom. I want to be someone's other half. One day.


Anonymous said...

i think that's what most of us want too.
good luck and i really hope you find him.